The Power of Perspective

What is it about looking back that makes everything seem so obvious? I think back on past experiences, past countries lived in, past friends made and lost and it all seems to fall in line. And yet, I can't see ahead.

Having spent almost three weeks in the US I was reminded of the many great things that country has and the many reasons I don't want to live there right now. I recognize that if I were there I would be surrounded by more people who look like me, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are actually like me. I love the friends I have scattered through out the US, but I also love the friends I have all over the world. Everyone of them has taught me something that, in retrospect, I probably would not have learned on my own. However, I also know that I am not in the same place as many of my friends, and perhaps that is why I choose to keep moving, to keep searching for people who are more like me.

The sad truth is, I don't know if what I'm looking for actually exists. In fact, I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Strangely, I think I've made my peace with that. I recognize that I am living the life I chose to live, and in the end I'm happy with my choice. I realize that there is no pleasing everyone (including myself!) so I'm going to stop trying. That doesn't mean I give up. It simply means that I choose to be more careful and diligent about who and want I expend energy on. I'm not going to worry about impressing or befriending someone who is not interested. I also will stop keeping one-sided friendships.

In spending time with my dearest friends, I was reminded of what real friendship looks like.  It's not about being in touch everyday. It's not about needing to know every single detail that is happening in their lives. It's about being there for each other. It's about sharing the load. It's about laughing together, crying together, and sometimes just sitting there in silence. It's about being willing to put forth the effort when needed and knowing that they are willing to do the same. It's about sacrifice and doing things you don't like because your friend needs you. It's about being a friend.

I am fortunate to have made those types of friends in every place I've lived. They are the ones that I may not talk to everyday. The ones that I may only see every few (or many) years. And still, they are my friends. When we do see each other (in person or via Skype) we don't miss a beat. The friendship is strong enough that the minutia of daily life doesn't impede it from being.

I think I had forgotten that for a little bit. I was so consumed with trying to make friends that I stopped looking at who I was trying to be friends with.

Compartmentalizing

I have never been good at compartmentalizing. The idea that you can simply divide your feelings and emotions into little boxes that you only open when necessary is totally mind boggling to me. I am both in awe and confounded by friends and family members that seem to have this ability. How easy they make it seem, as if they can simply slip in and out of their skin so that no one really knows what is going on underneath.

Sometimes I wish I was more like them. Other times I wish they were more like me.

My life is about all interconnectedness and as a result the many parts of my life seem to bleed through and inevitably affect each other. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can't seem to do anything about it. It makes people uncomfortable, and for that, I'm sorry. It is as if by not being able to split myself and my feelings into portions, I am somehow less than the sum of my parts. I have failed them. It's like they are trying to tell me that life is about order, and my life isn't.  As if some unknown, unwritten part of the "adult handbook" says, 'you must have your sh*t together'. Sadly, I don't.

I like the messiness of life. I embrace the fact that things don't have simple answers and that not everything works out the way you planned. I would go as far as arguing that most things do not go as planned, but that is part of what makes them wonderful. I don't fully understand how or why people chose to ignore certain aspects of their lives, as if pretending that it didn't happen or it isn't there is going to change something.

I am, however, happy with where I am in my life. I may not have mastered the technique of compartmentalizing, but I am ok with that. In fact, I don't want to divide my life. I don't think it would have led me here if I didn't allow every part of me to influence every other part. So I suppose I will continue to live my messy, simple life. I will keep being honest with myself and others, celebrating the idea that everything I am is composed of many parts that all rely and are part of each other.  I hope my friends will learn to accept this about me, and will have to learn to let go of the ones who can't. In the meantime, I will continue to watch the people around me who do divide their lives. I will keep trying to understand how they do it, without ever really wanting to do it myself.

It's not you, it's me

It has now been over a month since I moved to Taiwan. I have to admit that it has been quite the adjustment. Taipei is not Shanghai. Sometimes that's great, sometimes not so much.

The great stuff: I love my job. Sure, there are kids who are going to require pulling, pushing, convincing and cajoling to get them through the process, but most the kids that I'm working with really seem to be excited about going to college. These are students who understand the value of hard work and know that they have quite a bit of work to do to get to where they want to go. It is truly refreshing to be surrounded by professionals who know how to get the job done and who appreciate that we are all in it together. If you can't tell, I have great co-workers. The office environment is supportive, friendly, and runs in English! I recognize the latter may sound a bit odd, but after working in a place where most things were in Chinese and I felt like I was being an inconvenience by asking people to translate for me, it's just so nice. I have also started to make friends. To those of you who know me well, you know this is something I have a hard time with. I don't open up easily. So while, I'm still working on that, I can say that I honestly hope the people I have met will stay in my life for a very long time. We all come from such different backgrounds, but it's exciting to see how much we all still have in common.

The not so great stuff: I am STILL LIVING WITH MY LANDLADY!!! That's right, she has not moved out. No, she does not seem to think this is a problem. Yes, it is slowly driving me insane. The recap, her father passed away and she needs a month to get everything sorted, so the new move-out date is October 10th. I am not ok with this and am desperately trying to find a new place. This is no easy task. Seems like the only places that are left were left for a reason... and we all know that I'm pretty picky when it comes to living situations, thus my constant and building frustration. I know that it doesn't sound like a big deal, but as I was trying to explain to my sister earlier today, it is really wearing on me. The idea of not having a place that is mine, a place where I can truly be myself and feel safe is making this entire process very difficult. I'm starting to breakdown and I feel ridiculous because of it. Point in case, I was at a BBQ yesterday. My friend had gone all out, she bought enough food to feed a small army and I had promised to help with prep and everything else. So I went, but I was probably at my antisocial best (or in this case, worst). I didn't really want to engage with anyone, I wanted to be left alone and I'm afraid that because these people don't know me very well that also means they now think I'm just rude. I'm working on it, and I'm trying to find other ways of releasing this incredible tension that keeps me up at night and has completely suppressed my appetite. I know it will get better, and that "soon" I will find my safe-haven and will finally be able to relax. In the meantime, please know that if I'm a little short, withdrawn, or just plain "off," it's not you, it's me.

Surprise! You're (sort-of still) in China.

It amazes me that I have been in China for almost a year. As happens to everyone, I tried to build a routine and make friends to help keep me sane. However, there are still times when I walk around the city and almost forget where I am. My routine here is the same as (or at least eerily similar to) when I was in Philly. I wake up, get ready for work, walk to the office for about 30 min (with ipod in my ears), arrive at the office, work, have lunch with my co-workers, walk back home (with ipod in my ears) and then spend time on the internet, work out (or so I hope to do soon) and then bed. Simple.

And then there are moments when you remember where you are. "This is China" moments we've come to call them or "TIC's" for short. It is those instances where it's like the world is here to let you know that you are, in fact, in China and not somewhere at little more familiar. These are moments that almost always catch you by surprise.

As it turns out, Taiwan has those moments too, but I think I need to think of a better acronym. Somehow, I think trying to abbreviate "This is Taiwan" might be a bit problematic, or at least not really get to the heart of what I'm trying to say.

So far, my major Taiwan moment has been moving into my new apartment. I'm very happy with it, it has the space I wanted (for myself and visitors!) and has the type of kitchen I was looking for (please read: it has an oven!). The move itself was uneventful, save the typhoon in the middle. The "Taiwan" moment is that my landlady is currently living with me. Yes, that's right my landlady is currently living in both guest rooms, while I'm in the master bedroom. She's staying until Friday. And, she's paying me to stay here (even though I pay her rent). Fun!

The long road home...

Home is a concept I have struggled with most of my life. It's hard when you grow up moving around every couple of years. You yearn for order, stability, and a place to call home. You envy those who know where they are from, and dread being asked that very same question. You roll your eyes when people say "they understand" because they had to change neighborhoods within the same city...

While I knew that I was Colombian by blood, I also knew I was Mexican by birth. However, I never fully identified with either. In many ways, I still don't. And yet, it seems like the further away I move, the more I understand, embrace, and learn what "home" really is. Home is not a place, it's a feeling, it's a group of people, a sense of belonging. It is the intangibility of home that makes it so appealing. While we cannot really take it with us, in some small way, we do.

I have once again decided to move, not closer to home, but further away. While to some it may seem that I am incapable of "staying put" and others would argue that I simply do not want to "settle down," I would argue that it's neither. The truth is that I am learning to be at home with myself, wherever that may be. I recognize that there are moments when living abroad and far from family can be incredibly lonely and miss those special people every single day. I am also incredibly thankful for the many people I have met along the way, my ever changing (and growing) family, my home.

While some think of home as a place, I've found home in the people I've met along the way. The friends I make and the lessons they inevitably teach me. I have become who am I mostly because of the people that have been a part of my life, even those who were only around for a short time. The next chapter, I expect, will be no different. My home will continue to wander with me, weaving in and out of suitcases and furnished apartments. It may not be the ideal home, but for me, it works. 

Yes... but she's a GIRL...

Last week I visited my students in Shenzhen who were all aflutter with the excitement of college decisions and choosing where to spend the next four years of their lives. It was such a pleasure to see their stressed faces instantly transformed into looks of sheer anticipation of the adventure that lies ahead. It was as if the students sitting in front of me were very different people to the students I had spent the last six months working with. They are all happy about the options in front of them and are going to wonderful places like UC Berkeley, Columbia, Michigan, and Emory, however there was one conversation that I had, that was not as uplifting as the others.

This particular conversation dealt with a student of mine who has been admitted to a wonderful school in the US and to a program that she is very excited about attending. This is a program and a school that addresses all of her interests and future goals and does so in an environment conducive to creativity, which is something that is very important to this particular student. When I met her, however, she was not the happy, relaxed student that I expected. Instead, she seemed even more stressed out and a little unhappy. When I asked her why, she explained that her mother (and to some extent her father) wanted her to attend school closer to home (Hong Kong to be exact). Ok, I thought, how about we schedule a meeting for the whole family and we can talk about the options? "Sure" she replied in a defeated voice.

Cut to the next day. I am sitting in an office with mom, dad, (little brother) and student. I start by asking mom why she wants her daughter to stay home. Mom looks at me and explains that she wants her daughter to stay close to home, she says that she believes the program in HK will provide her with the same (if not better) opportunities as the school in the US, and that her and her ex-husband's connections in China will ensure that her daughter get internships. (It should be added that her daughter spends this entire time rolling her eyes and shaking her head.) I proceed to ask the student why she wants to go. "To get away from them" she says "and because I think I can learn more in the US."

Ok, so in my role as "counselor" I start to extol the virtues of both places, but place most of my emphasis on the school in the US, partially because it's the school (and school system) I know better but mostly because I honestly feel that this is a student that would thrive on a US college campus. I explain to her parents how she would have a "plethora" of internship options and that the program she has been admitted to is one of the best programs in the country (if not the world). I go on to say, I understand that it's hard to imagine having your child living in a different country and culture. Perhaps, this was the wrong thing to say.

Culture, seems to be the word that mom really hears. She jumps in and says "yes, but she's a girl" and goes on to tell me how in their culture (the Chinese culture) it is preferable for girls to stay close to home, for them not to have to "work so hard" and make sure they fulfill their familial obligations. She explains how they have it all figured out and they know what they want their daughter to do, to be, to achieve. What made this all the more interesting, was that her little brother was there, playing on an iphone, completely oblivious to what was going. My student however, kept looking over at him, almost longingly. It was as if she wished they could switch places. She's worked so hard, and now her dream was within reach, or was it?

In the end, I looked directly at my student while telling her mother that I understood this was a "family decision" but that my professional opinion was that the student would greatly benefit from going abroad and would be a better person (and professional) for it. The student looked at me, with tears in her eyes and thanked me. Her mother also thanked me for "continuously encouraging her daughter's dreams" (but to be honest, it felt hollow) and they left.

I don't know what they have decided, but I will admit that it is the hardest conversation I've had in China to date. It was a stark reminder that I am in a culture that is vastly different and yet eerily simliar to mine. I, however, am one of the incredibly fortunate girls that has parents that never let my being a girl be a detriment to me. They encouraged me to fight the good fight and to be the best person I could be (gender didn't matter). It is something I have lived my life believing but looking at my student across the table I was reminded that so many other girls are not given the same chance. 

The power of 1

When people find out that I live abroad the first question that always seems to come to mind is: "Did you move by yourself?" My answer, yes.


Chinese people are a little more blunt. "Do you have a boyfriend?" No. "Why?" I don't really know how to answer that...

It amazes me that people seem to think I am somehow stronger (or just plain crazy) to have uprooted my life not for a man, but for myself. I don't really know what to make of it. I thought we were past thoughts of women needing men to live fulfilled lives. (Mom, before you freak out, I'm not stating that I want to be alone forever, I'm simply stating that I plan on living a fulfilled life regardless of whether "prince charming" shows up or not.) I grew up in a culture that embraces the idea that people come in pairs, it is what all little girls dream of. Finding that one person who will complete them, that person with whom they will FINALLY be happy. Perhaps I'm cynical and jaded but why must our happiness depend on someone else?

I don't want to downplay the joys of companionship. And I couldn't be happier for my friends and loved ones who have been able to find that person that they want to share the rest of their lives with. I have friends who are starting families, and I can't wait to see them grow and be happy with each other. What I am trying to say is that I won't put my life on hold because I haven't found "the one," and that is why I moved (first to Saudi and then to China). I recognize that being abroad makes meeting a person of interest harder, but I would also argue that finding the right person is hard regardless. Looking for them, or being in an "easier" place doesn't, in fact, make it any easier to find said person. I have to keep believing that if there is actually someone out there who would be willing to join me on my adventures, that the person will part of them.

In the meantime, I will continue to live my life the only way I know how. I will keep learning more about the world around me and my part in it. I will strive to understand people and cultures that are different to mine. I will continue to be brutally honest, to take on a challenge, to stay loyal to my friends anad family, to live alone, and brave a smile when things are down. I acknowledge that along the way I will be stubborn and sometimes sad, but the truth is that when everything is said and done, and all the pieces that make my life are added up, I am happy. So people can continue to look at me with their perplexed, sorry and unabashedly disapproving eyes, I am who I am and will not apologize for it. I honestly believe my experiences abroad and alone have made me a better person.

Churros, Snow, and a Shot of Water

Sounds like the beginning of a joke no? No... Well sort-of.

I have begun to make friends in China. Many of which are my co-workers, which are some pretty amazing, courageous and forward-thinking individuals. However, for the first time in my professional life, I find that I am now among the eldest people in the office (thank you student affairs). Which is both exciting and terrifying. Suddenly, I have become the "expert." Me?!

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how much I've grown up in the last 10 years. I can't believe all that has happened in that time and the lengths I have gone to get to where I am now. Today, I am surrounded by people in their early twenties who still cling to their college lives and that need of order and "justice." They seem completely oblivious to reality of what life is like. Life is messy. Life doesn't keep a schedule. Life doesn't make or keep plans. Life doesn't care if you are in a good mood or a bad mood or no mood at all. And the truth is that life resembles jobs. I think of the jobs I've had over the years (crazy to think that by 30 I've already had 4 full time jobs!) and I realize that many of my "complaints" had more to do with me than they did with the job. Now I find myself on the other side. Listening to recent grads complain about how their job description doesn't adequately reflect what they are doing, or how things don't seem to follow their "plan." In some ways, I think they have it tougher than I did. Not only do they have to deal with the heartbreak that comes with joining the real world, but they have to do it in China. In other ways, I think they are only delaying the inevitable. They can still blame China for the inconsistencies of life and may fail to realize how many of their issues have more to do with being out of school as opposed to being out of the country.

So enter my "expertise." A couple of weeks ago I went to dinner with a couple of co-workers (it was somebody's birthday, she was turning 25). This time, I was not the eldest at the table, there was another person who is also in her early 30's. What was fascinating about the evening (besides my friend never having seen snow... there was a bit of a flurry that evening, then ordering churros for the first time, and finally "insulting" the waitress by turning down a shot of tequila and asking for a shot of water instead) was that there were two young 20-somethings and two not as young 30-somethings giving them advice. We talked about everything from wearing sunscreen and night lotion, to going to grad school and how to deal with a job you don't particularly like. It was amazing to see and hear the difference that 5-10 years can make. Many of the questions and concerns my friends' had were the same questions I had been unable to answer for myself not so long ago.

It was one of those moments when you start to realize how much you have actually accomplished already and that it's not quite THAT unfathomable that someone would want to come to you for advice and are actually interested in what you might say. 30 may be the new 25, but I have to say that those 5 years make a big difference in someone's life.

Sticks and Stones

There comes a moment when you wonder which is more important, words or actions. We’ve all heard the idiom “actions speak louder than words” and yet are always reminded how “the pen is mightier than the sword.” So my question is, which is it? Are the words we say more important? Or is it our ability (or inability) to act on them that really matters? At what point are words just excuses, or actions just our inability to accurately express ourselves?

China has taught me a great deal of the difference between speaking and acting. This is a country that values “saving face” above all. In many cases people would rather lie than admit that they have made a mistake or do not know the answer to your question. They will sit there and smile and say “yes, yes, yes” but do nothing. Somehow they believe that this is better. The part I haven’t been able to figure out yet is how to do you know when “yes” means “no” and when it actually means “yes.”

I suppose this is true of many aspects of life. How many excuses have I heard that were really just someone’s ill-conceived attempt at saving face? Too many to count. Why does it seem that we all have trouble admitting that things are not working, or are not what we want to do or be? Because no one like being wrong. Why is failure something we are all so deathly afraid of? See previous answer.  Isn’t it true that we learn from defeat? I certainly have (but I still don’t like being wrong). While this all seems like one really good (or bad?) catch-22, it is the reality of life. We live, we learn, we fail, we try again… and over and over again.

If being abroad has helped me realize anything it is that in the end, it is a combination of both words and actions that make the difference. Talking a good game is not enough, but never talking is also frustrating. I suppose it is that fine line that we all learn to walk as we make our way through this life. Maybe it is once we know what the line looks like that we can actually consider ourselves “adults.” And perhaps, that is why some people never really grow up. We need to be willing to admit to ourselves that both words and actions have repercussions and affect not only ourselves, but also the people around us. We need to live our lives acknowledging that a kind word or a hug can really make a person’s day, just like a empty promise or a shrug can break someone’s heart. 

Lessons (Part 2)

1. It is perfectly acceptable to take a nap in the office. In fact, bring your pillow and eye cover. This is usually done during/after lunch.

2. Squatting is also perfectly acceptable. In fact it is considered very comfortable. And no, I do not mean taking over a place illegally, I mean the literal act of squatting... be it as a toilet, or just on the sidewalk to take a rest from the long hot day.

3. Speaking of sidewalks, want to dance? Then join your local sidewalk dance class! They meet at least once a week on random street corners. (Note: this is a formal activity with dance instructor, choreography and specific dance tracks).

4. Diapers are for foreigners. Children in China have split pants so that they can take care of business anywhere, anytime. (This fashion trend comes in shorts for summer and fleece pants for winter, and is unisex).

5. It is perfectly acceptable to smoke, burp, and spit in public. Blowing your nose, however, is not.

6. One way streets only apply to cars (and even that is debatable). Bikes and scooters can go both ways on every road. *Moral of the story: as a pedestrian, ALWAYS look both ways multiple times and still be prepared to get honked/yelled at for crossing at the right/wrong time*

7. Bills can be paid at convenience stores, in cash. They cannot be paid online.

8. When preparing your lunch in the office, please make sure to "queu" your food for microwave use. This quite literally means lining up your tupperware next to the microwave and waiting your turn. You are not allowed to "skip" in line, even if the person in front of you is nowhere to be found and the microwave is not in use.

9. Fireworks are more about noise than lights. In fact, most fireworks seem to be set off during the day.

10. Who you know is more important that what you know. Regardless of how it may affect others around you.

The Sisters China Adventure (Long Overdue)

Vacation Adventure

Sis Arrives

So I moved to Shanghai! Hurray! Hard to believe that it took four months to actually make it here, amazing. The move was a bit hectic, but then again this is China.

I moved on Tuesday December 20^th. That day I left Shenzhen with my two very full suitcases, arrived in Shanghai in the morning, headed straight to the office, picked up my boxes (with the help of a “moving company”) and moved into my house. That night was the office Christmas party, after which I did some unpacking.

Wednesday, December 21^st. I feel like I am dying. I can hardly breathe but I am at work and have to pick up my sis from the airport. After about three hours of feeling miserable at work, I finally go to the doctor. “Upper respiratory track infection” she says. Antibiotics. Home. More unpacking and trying to find a supermarket (got lost and walked for like an hour in the cold). Run to catch the subway to the airport, do no realize I have to switch trains at some point. Lose 20 mins, late to pick up sis, she is not happy, I can’t breathe. She sees I’m sick and is not longer mad. We go home.

Thursday and Friday: go to work and leave early (the bosses are out of town, and I don't have anything to do). Explore Shanghai with my sis. We visit exciting places like “Carrefour” and “Tesco.” We also do some touristy things like visit the Jing’An Temple and the Shanghai Bund. Sis is fairly impressed.

Sat (Christmas Eve): Sis and I walk around neighborhood. (I live in the old French Concession. It is quite nice.) We wait for arrival of boy. Boy arrives. We all exchange gifts haphazardly around my 10 inch tree and with my three different poinsettias. It doesn’t quite feel like Christmas but we are all happy to be spending it with good people.

Vacation has really started, we are getting ready and excited for our whirlwind trip.

Beijing

Christmas Day: We wake up to get ready to pack and make it to the train station. We are taking the Bullet Train to Beijing. The station was actually much cleaner and easier to navigate than I had expected (read: easier than any train station in Europe). We board our train, and we’re off at 300 KM/HR. Train ride takes us through mainland China. It is very grey and cold outside. There is not “Food Coach/Restaurant” on the train. We are hungry. We arrive in Beijing. Take taxi to friend’s house. Friend meets us. We drop stuff off at his house and head out for Christmas dinner at a Spanish restaurant. Cheers to spending Christmas in China with friends.

The trip in Beijing was full of memorable moments. We visited the Forbidden City and nearly froze. However, what was most striking was the number of children still wearing split pants! For those of you who are unaware, small children in China (between the ages of 1-3) do not wear diapers. They were pants with a bit split down the middle so that if the mood takes them, they can simply squat in place and take care of business. This means there is a whole bunch of little stuff hanging out all the time. This is moderately entertaining in warm weather, but in 1-2 degrees Celsius, it just seems a mean. We also had the opportunity to visit the Great Wall and just get to know the city. It was lovely.

Xi’an

Terracotta Warriors. Simply, amazing. The city of Xi’an however, was very polluted… to the point where you could barely see 15 feet in front of you. It was as if mist, fog, and all around ick had just gotten together in the city. I now see the appeal of facemasks.

It was even colder than Beijing had been, so we visited the warriors, by finding an un-marked bus that charged us 7RMB (equivalent to about 1USD) for a 45 min ride out to the site. On said bus, we were entertained by what I can only describe as a Chinese soap-opera turned mystery movie (I still wonder how it ends).

Hong Kong

The last leg of the trip. New Year’s Eve in HK. We spent the actual evening in the company of one of the Scottish Cultural groups of the city and were surrounded by kilts, bagpipes and lots of dancing. It was great fun.

In the city, my sis and I ventured up “the peak” on New Years Day. It was quite the hike (particularly because we got lost more than once and I’m pretty sure were in someone backyard at some point) and we managed to make it to the very top. We also visited Kowloon, the Jade Market and the Big Buddha.

Shanghai

Next thing I knew, our time was over and we were back in Shanghai. It flew by but we had a great time and I am very thankful to have spent the time with people that I care about. Now, I’m ready to take on whatever this city (and country) send my way. 

The Christmas Spirit

*This is a post I wrote a while back, but forgot to post*

Can it be? Has Christmas really arrived? Wow. Perhaps I spent too much time in a country with no Christmas, but this year I’m actually really enjoying the fact that Christmas apparently starts in November… even in China (and particularly in Hong Kong). The fake Christmas trees have started to pop-up in malls, the lighted snowmen decorate windows and Christmas music can be heard in every Starbucks along the way.

This is a time for family and friends, and positive thinking. It is, as the song says “the most wonderful time of the year” and yet, to those who live away from family, it can be a difficult time. We are reminded that there are many Christmas traditions we will not be sharing this year. For me, there will be no “novenas” to attend, no “villancicos” to sing with family, and no “amigo secreto” to exchange. It is the time of the year when homesickness becomes a little more acute. The time of the year when you wish you could do a little bit more than just call home. The time of the year when you feel a little further away than you actually are.

Nonetheless, this year I get a special present. My sister is coming to town! While this will be the second year I spend Christmas without my parents, I do get to share this very special time of the year with my favorite person in the world (sorry mom and dad). In case you hadn’t picked up on this already, my sister and I are uncommonly close. In many ways, we had to be. We grew up in an expat family and moved around so many times as children that we learned to lean on each other from a very early age. Today, my sister is still the only person who can tell me I’m being a moron and I will not take it personally (and sometimes, it even works both ways). My sister is my best-friend and perpetual sounding board. She is the smartest person I know (she hates it when I say that) and certainly the person who knows me best. And she arrives in one month!

Christmas in China will certainly be another adventure, but I am so happy that this year I get to spend it with someone who understands what I mean even when I don’t say anything. This year, Christmas will be about family, even if we are so very far away from home.