The power of 1

When people find out that I live abroad the first question that always seems to come to mind is: "Did you move by yourself?" My answer, yes.


Chinese people are a little more blunt. "Do you have a boyfriend?" No. "Why?" I don't really know how to answer that...

It amazes me that people seem to think I am somehow stronger (or just plain crazy) to have uprooted my life not for a man, but for myself. I don't really know what to make of it. I thought we were past thoughts of women needing men to live fulfilled lives. (Mom, before you freak out, I'm not stating that I want to be alone forever, I'm simply stating that I plan on living a fulfilled life regardless of whether "prince charming" shows up or not.) I grew up in a culture that embraces the idea that people come in pairs, it is what all little girls dream of. Finding that one person who will complete them, that person with whom they will FINALLY be happy. Perhaps I'm cynical and jaded but why must our happiness depend on someone else?

I don't want to downplay the joys of companionship. And I couldn't be happier for my friends and loved ones who have been able to find that person that they want to share the rest of their lives with. I have friends who are starting families, and I can't wait to see them grow and be happy with each other. What I am trying to say is that I won't put my life on hold because I haven't found "the one," and that is why I moved (first to Saudi and then to China). I recognize that being abroad makes meeting a person of interest harder, but I would also argue that finding the right person is hard regardless. Looking for them, or being in an "easier" place doesn't, in fact, make it any easier to find said person. I have to keep believing that if there is actually someone out there who would be willing to join me on my adventures, that the person will part of them.

In the meantime, I will continue to live my life the only way I know how. I will keep learning more about the world around me and my part in it. I will strive to understand people and cultures that are different to mine. I will continue to be brutally honest, to take on a challenge, to stay loyal to my friends anad family, to live alone, and brave a smile when things are down. I acknowledge that along the way I will be stubborn and sometimes sad, but the truth is that when everything is said and done, and all the pieces that make my life are added up, I am happy. So people can continue to look at me with their perplexed, sorry and unabashedly disapproving eyes, I am who I am and will not apologize for it. I honestly believe my experiences abroad and alone have made me a better person.