The Power of Perspective

What is it about looking back that makes everything seem so obvious? I think back on past experiences, past countries lived in, past friends made and lost and it all seems to fall in line. And yet, I can't see ahead.

Having spent almost three weeks in the US I was reminded of the many great things that country has and the many reasons I don't want to live there right now. I recognize that if I were there I would be surrounded by more people who look like me, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are actually like me. I love the friends I have scattered through out the US, but I also love the friends I have all over the world. Everyone of them has taught me something that, in retrospect, I probably would not have learned on my own. However, I also know that I am not in the same place as many of my friends, and perhaps that is why I choose to keep moving, to keep searching for people who are more like me.

The sad truth is, I don't know if what I'm looking for actually exists. In fact, I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Strangely, I think I've made my peace with that. I recognize that I am living the life I chose to live, and in the end I'm happy with my choice. I realize that there is no pleasing everyone (including myself!) so I'm going to stop trying. That doesn't mean I give up. It simply means that I choose to be more careful and diligent about who and want I expend energy on. I'm not going to worry about impressing or befriending someone who is not interested. I also will stop keeping one-sided friendships.

In spending time with my dearest friends, I was reminded of what real friendship looks like.  It's not about being in touch everyday. It's not about needing to know every single detail that is happening in their lives. It's about being there for each other. It's about sharing the load. It's about laughing together, crying together, and sometimes just sitting there in silence. It's about being willing to put forth the effort when needed and knowing that they are willing to do the same. It's about sacrifice and doing things you don't like because your friend needs you. It's about being a friend.

I am fortunate to have made those types of friends in every place I've lived. They are the ones that I may not talk to everyday. The ones that I may only see every few (or many) years. And still, they are my friends. When we do see each other (in person or via Skype) we don't miss a beat. The friendship is strong enough that the minutia of daily life doesn't impede it from being.

I think I had forgotten that for a little bit. I was so consumed with trying to make friends that I stopped looking at who I was trying to be friends with.